The Resilient Generation
Necessity is the Mother of Invention
Recently, I wrote my hopes that the challenges our kids are facing will instill resilience in them, and make them the Resilient Generation. Today, I was inspired to say more about our kids when listening to a conversation between Brené Brown and Scott Sonenshein on the Unlocking Us podcast. Sonenshein is a management professor at Rice University and the author of Stretch. (He is also co-author with Marie Kondo for the book Joy at Work.)
According to Sonenshein there are two ways people can go about their lives, stretching and chasing. To stretch is to do things differently. It is about being resourceful and doing more with what you already have. Stretching is using what you already have to be more creative and more productive. One major obstacle to stretching is chasing which is the cultural belief that the more we have then the more we can do. “If I had more money, I would donate more to charity.” “If I had more time, I would be a more patient parent.” You know what I’m talking about.
Sonenshein went on to say that people are born stretchy. Kids are resourceful. They have endless creativity, and don’t worry about having more until society teaches them to want more. Our culture and institutions teach us to think inside the box and to chase. The act of chasing, takes away creativity and unrealized potential. The example he used was a kid with a frying pan. To a young child, a frying pan may be a hat, drum, guitar. When was the last time you looked at a frying pan and thought about anything besides frying up some eggs?
Brown and Sonenshein’s conversation then went to talking about how necessity is the mother of invention. When the circumstances create the need to be resourceful, people stretch more readily. Having abundance around us tends to stifle creativity. Not that when times are easy you cannot stretch, but it is harder because to stretch is a choice, not a need. By choosing to stretch, you invite creativity and innovation. They went on to discuss how the research shows that stretchy outside-the-box thinkers tend to be best at solving unsolvable problems.
The COVID-19 pandemic has forced us all out of the box. Restaurants have more outside dining than I ever expected. Telemedicine has taken off faster than it would have without a global pandemic. Heck, fashion bloggers are now writing about coordinating your mask with your outfit. People who are leaning into the discomfort of being outside the box are stretching and finding new and creative ways to make a livelihood and go about life. As a parent, I want to raise stretchy out-of-the box innovators. Perhaps on those days when we are all facing adversity, we can see the silver lining. When there’s not enough time in the day to work, oversee distance learning, cook, exercise and be a calm and deliberate person, we can remember we are developing our stretch which will help us grow and improve our world.
Kate Bender is a dual-certified Psychiatric Mental Health and Adult Nurse Practitioner. She knows, firsthand, life is messy and hard. Sometimes people need support and help from a professional. When working with Kate, your mental health will be compassionately addressed in a manner that honors your mind, body, and spirit. She lives with her family on the shoreline in Old Saybrook, Connecticut.